There have been many things which I have achieved in the past without apparently having set any goals, and conversely, many goals that I had set, written down, thought a lot about and yet didn’t achieve. Have you found this to be true for you too?
Interestingly, the goals that really meant something to me, the BIG ones, were usually the very ones that seemed the most elusive. Soon I stopped setting goals at all never mind stretch goals!
Goals help us to get clarity and focus and to feel good. The last piece is one that we often forget. Why do we want what we want anyway? The deepest reason is always a desire to feel good in some way.
There are three elements to getting anything we want. The first two are “inner” elements and the last one an “outer” element.
When you think about something that you want, how does it feel? Does it feel totally good? Or are there tinges of not-so-good?
The extent to which you feel the not-so-good gives you an indication of how much internal resistance you have.
Resistance is the collection of opposing thoughts to your thoughts on your Desire. These can be thoughts such as, “But I don’t have it”, “I can’t see how I can get that”, “I can’t afford it” and so on. You can tell the balance between your level of Desire and your level of Resistance from how you feel about your goal.
The higher the level of your Desire and the lower the level of your Resistance, the more positive you feel, and the more quickly and easily you attain your goal. Action becomes effortless, and things seem to just fall into place.
Have you come across a person before who mentioned that they wanted something and somehow things just “showed up” and happened for them? That’s Desire with little Resistance, resulting in action being easy and seemingly effortless.
We have been well conditioned into thinking that life has to be hard and a struggle if we are to get what we want. Yet, we know of people whose experience isn’t that way. What we generally don’t realise is that it is our very thinking that makes up our resistance. If we think something will be hard, it usually is!
We may also wonder why we are not taking or enjoying the action towards our goal even though we have a strong desire for it. This happens when our level of resistance is greater than our level of desire. It’s like driving a car with one foot on the accelerator and the other on the brake - at the same time.
If you can reach the place where you feel so good that the end result is no longer the main event, and the way that you feel while you are on the journey is, then you will discover that your quality of life increases, AND achieving your goal is easier and less stressful...plus you would have enjoyed yourself along the way. This is what maximising your desire and minimising your resistance is all about.
When you do this, goals become enjoyable.
Don’t believe me? Try it out for yourself! If you could reach just one goal this coming month - a goal that feels really good - which one would it be?
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